Breaking Inside
by Natalie Ryan
Summary: Post 3x22 fan fiction. Steve and Danny have a talk and then Grace decided her father needs comfort. Hawaii Five 0 belongs to CBS and Peter Lenkov, don't own it.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

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 **Hiya guys. Here's my new fic. I came up with it as I re-watched 3x22 last week. It was supposed to be this part only, Danny's thoughts of the day. But then I'd thought hard and said to myself it wouldn't hurt if Steve had his own five minutes and got a Steve chapter, and after that, well, let's just say I wanted my baby to be comforted and looked after and Steve (later Gracie, too) was the best option.**

 **P. S. The friend that looked over this story pointed out how I had written Steve referring to Rachel by her name when talking to Grace and had to change to "your mom" to be more appropriate to the setting. I guess I was channeling my inner-jealous-McGarrett when writing that part, lol.**

 **P. S. 2- She also liked the burrito scene. Gotta admit I had such a fun writing it.**

 **Final note before I get too boring and you never get to read the chapter, the octopus part is a tip to her, because she was the one that pointed out how Alex is handsy when it comes to Scott and well, let's just say I was thinking about that when writing this, so this goes for you, you know who you are ;-)**

 **Let me know what you think**

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 **-Danny P.O.V.-**

He was sitting on the couch, head on the headrest, staring in the distance through the window. He replayed the events of the day thousand times already, and he felt tired. His knuckles hurt. He tried to flex them and sighed when that intensified the pain even more. But that pain was nothing compared to the pain inside. To the pain that reminded him once again he somehow failed. Because it was his job to protect this island and his little girl. Because there was a scumbag that killed an innocent girl just because she wasn't what he wanted anymore, so he took another girl. They were on time. But, he still felt like he failed. Like he should have done something. He had no idea about what was going on, he wasn't even in Hawai'i when the first abduction happened, but he should have checked the missing kids' files.

 _I should have checked, dammit!_

Danny was worried, because he knew what it was like to have your baby taken away from you. The fear. And even if it was just for a few hours, it felt like it was more than that. His panicked heart told him it was way longer than a few hours.

The little girl they saved roughly four hours ago trusted the uniform, just like his baby girl. And that cost them both with being kept away from their families. That wasn't the case with Amanda. She was killed. And her parents lived all this time, with that small spark of hope that she'll show up on their doorstep one day.

Hope.

That one word, feeling, stung more than the tears that were threatening to spill down his cheeks. Because it was an overwhelming feeling. He knew he told his partner that if it was him he'd cling to false hope, if he had to. The truth was, he'd prefer the truth instead of that false hope. It would hurt him more, but at least it would be the truth and not some whispered and false sense of security.

Promise.

He knew he shouldn't have made that promise. He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. But he could see himself in those frightened parents. He saw himself in those tear-filled eyes. He wished there was someone to say that to him then, when his daughter was at mercy in the hands of his former partner in the force.

He was a mess. Complete and utter mess. He huffed at a stray strand of hair that fell over his eyes. The day started with smiles and him teasing that goof of his partner about his haircut. It was all good until they got that call. It became personal the second he stepped on the crime scene. He just couldn't wipe off that feeling.

He was aware his partner cast glances his way the whole time. He was aware everyone looked at him weird. But they understood. Maybe they weren't parents, but they understood his need to bring the grieving family some comfort and even promised to them he'd get their baby back.

That was a big mistake. Scratch that. Huge, enormous mistake. He felt terrible now that he had the time to go back and rewind a little. His partner was right. What if they didn't find the girl on time?

Danny sighed again and closed his eyes. The faces of the parents when their daughter was brought back to them was something that will be forever etched in his mind. All smiles and happy tears. They were lucky. The other family not so much. He had personally picked the diary Amanda kept during the time she was held captive. It didn't weigh much, but it weighed in Danny's hands as he pulled it out of the evidence bag to give it to her parents. They deserved to know that their daughter never forgot them. Even if it meant to forgo the standard procedure of bagging and tagging evidence.

He missed his Monkey right now. He wanted to call her, but he knew it was probably not the right time. He was miserable and she didn't deserve to listen to him like that. She didn't deserve a father like that.

The next best thing to help him through this situation was his partner. Steve. He needed Steve. But, he was too stubborn to call him and ask for his company.

The doorbell rang.

...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

 **-Steve P.O.V.-**

It hurt to see Danny sullen and defeated like that. It hurt to see the pain in his eyes, to hear him think even tho he didn't voice his thoughts out loud. It hurt him to want to offer Danny comfort, but he couldn't. He told himself he'll just wait it out. Soon enough Danny will come to him. He'll open up. And he will offer talk and support. Probably even rant. He'd take a Danny rant any day over his silence.

But, that time never came. He watched, he observed like a hawk high above the ground. He waited for Danny just to slip up, to crack under the pressure. But, that did not happen. He knew Danny was strong. Maybe too much for his own liking. He had to let go.

He knew it was too much for his partner, the case hit close to home the moment Danny just crouched over the dead girl's body and stared into the distance.

The discovery of another kidnapping. The trip to the little girl's house. The talk to her parents.

Promise.

Then that bloody promise to bring their daughter back to him. He knew then Danny was definitely not okay. He was talking, but not saying much. He kept to himself, just trying to latch onto something.

Hope.

Something.

Anything that will get him through.

After last year and Grace's kidnapping, Danny always took it personal. It was to be expected, cases that involved kids never bode well with the blonde detective, but this one was so similar to Grace's that by the time they discovered Cantera wore a uniform to lure the children, Steve thought Danny would lose it right then and there.

Flooring him down just served to fuel whatever was that Danny felt, because once they got hold of Ray, Danny couldn't keep it to himself. He just couldn't.

And strangely at that moment Steve knew he'd do the same if he was in Danny's situation. So, he gave him free reigns, retreating outside, listening to the moaning and crying of the man that Danny beat up for information.

By the time Danny got out, his knuckles were bloody, his hair was disheveled and sweat was running down his face.

But, Danny dismissed all that in favor of retrieving that little girl. And he did.

The look on Danny's face when the girl was reunited with her parents brought peace to him. But only temporary. Because, right about the time Steve wanted to talk to him, Danny just disappeared off somewhere.

Steve was determined to talk with Danny, to tell him he was there for him, to offer that support to his partner whose heart was aching.

He found himself in front of Danny's apartment, thinking for the hundredth time if he should just leave him alone for the day and get back the next day.

Deciding against it.

He rang the doorbell.

...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

It seemed like an eternity until Danny got to the door. The only thing telling Steve, Danny wasn't sleeping, was the fact that the light that was on. A fraction of a second later the door opened.

Steve almost backed down when he saw the state his friend was in. He looked like crap, to put it out mildly.

Danny just stood there, looking at his partner that he wanted to see so bad just seconds ago. _Maybe he wasn't the only one able to read minds_ , Danny smiled inwardly. But, when he saw the real deal, he just froze. Didn't know what to do.

Steve stepped inside and closed the door carefully. What he didn't expect was his best friend launching himself at him. He held on to Steve for dear life.

Danny was trembling and if the bone crushing hug made Steve breathless, he didn't show it. Danny needed the comfort and he was happy to provide it. Steve wrapped his arms around Danny, trying to calm him down.

"I have never been so happy in my life to see you as I am now, but if you say to anyone I said that, I'd deny everything." Danny's voice came over barely a whisper, as he buried himself further into Steve's embrace.

Steve snorted at what Danny said, but he promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone.

"Hey, how about we sit down a little bit?"

Danny nodded as he pulled himself out of the hug and dejectedly sat on the sofa.

Steve went to take two beers out of the fridge and joined Danny on the couch.

Danny took the offered beer and clanked it against Steve's.

"Thanks."

Steve nodded in understanding.

For a few moments the two friends nursed their beers in complete silence.

"Not that I don't appreciate your hugs, but what was that for, Danno?"

Danny looked like a wounded puppy. That really got to Steve.

"Danny?"

Danny was still silent.

"I'm here. Whatever you want, I'm here. You want to talk, I'll listen. You want to give me the silent treatment, I'll be quiet. Just say the word."

Danny sighed.

Steve acted on instinct and took one of Danny's hands in his, when the detective hissed and scrunched his face.

Steve realized what he did, and a second later he located the source of the hiss. Danny's knuckles were red and raw. _The skin was sensitive on touch, of course it would be, McGarrett_ , Steve chastised himself.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."

Danny snorted at what his partner was obviously doing. He was worried. Figures.

Steve came back with the first aid kit. He carefully took one of Danny's hands and cleaned the wounds where the skin was ripped. He repeated the same with the other hand.

"Does it hurt?" Steve asked after a particularly powerful growl coming from Danny.

"Does it look like it's not hurting, huh, Steven?"

"That's the Danny I know. Glad I got a response finally."

"I swear to God, if you intentionally irritated my hurt hand, I'll come after you, you animal."

"It wasn't intentional. I'd never do that."

"Not sure about that."

"Danny..."

"It's okay, babe. I'm just trying to alleviate some of the pain."

"Is it just the knuckles, or you have pain in someplace else?"

"Only the knuckles. I don't think anything's broken. My left wrist acted up earlier, but nothing after that."

Steve gently took Danny's left wrist in his hand, enveloping it and flinging it couple of times for good measure. There was no reaction from Danny. That was good.

"I'm gonna apply an ointment on them and bandage them, so they can heal faster. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Steve went to the bathroom and retrieved the tube he left there last time he was here, just in case.

Acting like a doctor treating his patient, he applied the ointment deliberately on the whole surface and paid special attention to the teared skin, gently massaging the raw wounds and flicking his thumb here and there over the hand, the soothing touch calming Danny.

Steve finished with bandaging and put the first aid kit aside, washed his hands and sat next to Danny.

"Seriously, thank you, Steve. It's like whenever I need you, you appear out of nowhere. I appreciate that."

"You are welcome Danny. I wanted to talk to you earlier today, but you kinda disappeared on me."

"Sorry, I went to give Amanda's diary to her parents and afterwards I drove straight home."

"How are they holding up?"

"You'd expect it would be easier after giving them that closure to know the monster that took their baby away is in custody, and probably spending the rest of his life in prison. But, it's not as easy as one would think. I'd say it's even harder now."

"How are you holding up?"

"Good, I guess."

"Good, huh?"

"Good."

"Danny, come on. I know you. Tell me, how are you feeling, really?"

Danny sighed.

"Do you really wanna know?"

"Mhm."

"Okay." Danny raked one of his hands through his hair. "It hit close to home. This whole situation, it is so similar to Grace's kidnapping, I can't take it anymore. It's too much."

Steve held on to his promise. He let Danny talk and he listened.

"Both Grace and Ella believed the uniform, they were comfortable and they paid for it. I had the opportunity to get her back. So did Ella's parents. But, what about Amanda? She was held captive for 10 years, and we didn't even know that! We should have been able to save her before it was too late."

That was where the problem lied, Steve realized. Danny felt guilty for not noticing before.

"You can't possibly blame yourself."

"But, I do. It's my fault. It's our fault."

"No, it's not, Danny. We couldn't have known. And we weren't even here when it happened."

"But..."

"No 'buts', Danny. There are some things neither you nor I could control, no matter how big of a control freak I am."

Danny was on edge.

"I know you feel like you failed. As a father and as a police officer. But, you didn't fail, Danny. You did everything possible to get Gracie back last year. You did everything possible to get Ella back. And you did bring her back. You did all you could do. Just look at what length you went to get information out of that scumbag. You hurt yourself."

"This? This is nothing. He's got the worst of it."

"That's not my point. You did something you wouldn't normally do. Channeling your inner McGarrett."

"Oh, I get your point Mr. I'm Always Right. When you hang a guy over a roof or throw him in a shark cage to get information it is okay. When I beat up a scumbag who deserves more than that, it's not okay!"

"No, that's not what I was trying to say. Danny!"

"What was it you were trying to say, Steven?!"

"I wanted to say that you are a determined police officer who did everything to get that little girl back. And I'd do what I did again if the need for it arises."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Danno. I know this is a sensitive subject for you. You need to rest, sleep it off and we'll talk more about it tomorrow. You are clearly upset."

"Damn straight I'm upset. It's just... Too much for me to bear alone."

"You are not alone."

"I feel like it."

"Now you are out of your mind, Danny. I have told you more than once, and I mean it, you are not alone. Not now, not ever. Not as long as I'm here."

"Promise?"

"Now you are scaring me. Danny?"

"I just need to know if you are gonna stick with me no matter the situation I'm in, Steve. I'm pretty messed up. And what happened today just proved that to me. I get emotionally involved in a case, and I make decisions that are not that conventional. I promised those people I'll get their daughter back. You were right, what if we didn't find her at all? Or God forbid, if we found her dead?"

"It just slipped, Danny. You said it yourself, there was this false hope that they held on to, and it was enough. I know it was not right, but it worked. And you fulfilled your promise."

"What about next time? What about the next time I just slip and promise something like that and it's an empty promise. Ever think about that?"

"Yes, I do. In our line of work, it's never a 100% certainty we'll solve a case, Danny. We sometimes have to accept that. And I'll be by your side and remind you not to promise anything you can't fulfill."

Danny contemplated Steve's words. He knew Steve was right.

God, why it was so difficult? Why did he had to have these thoughts?

"I'd prefer the truth. I know I said that I'd have the false hope over the truth, but now when I look at it... No matter how painful it is, I would have the truth any day."

"Oh, Danny." Steve put his hand on Danny's shoulder. "I know what you think. I can't even remotely know how you feel right now. But a friend told me once that you don't get to save everybody. So, you let it rest. You let it go. And you do your best to focus on doing your job as best as you can. There will be casualties. But, it's part of the job. Beating yourself over it, it's not worth it. You know, for a guy that's so sure of himself, you have one hell of a self-doubt there, buddy."

"I can't help it."

"You don't have to. Just work on it a little bit and face the facts for what they are: facts. You did all in your power to bring some peace and closure to both families. We all did."

"Why do I have the feeling I'm talking to Freud?"

"Majored in psychology in my past life."

"Yeah, I can see that. You know that friend that told you that thing, he must be a giant goof, just like you."

"He is. Giant goof just like me. That's why I love him."

"Me too." Danny smiled. His first, genuine smile ever since they got the case.

"Thanks, babe."

"You are welcome. Any time. To make myself clear, next time just pick up the phone and call me. Don't wallow alone."

"I will. I'm serious. Thank you. Not just for this, but for everything you do for me. You are always there, even when I am not brave enough to just ask for you."

"Gotta admit, we have a lot in common in that department, Danno."

Danny laughed at that. Actually laughed.

He felt the tension leaving his body. His knuckles didn't hurt as much as they did before. And there was an odd sense of calmness, like the tidal wave by the name of Steve McGarrett washed over the worry and guilt.

Danny realized that now he relaxed and let his mind drift, he felt bone tired. He sagged against Steve.

"Hey, I'm not your personal pillow." Steve joked, when in fact, it felt good to have Danny this close to him.

"Yes, you are. So soft. Told ya' you are a big softie. Maybe you are some sort of a combination between a hawk and a lion, but you are a softie. This here, proves my theory, my friend."

Steve had a huge goofy grin plastered on his face. Danny was always big on words, but never on regular compliments. He had his own unique weird sense of giving them to people.

"Mind if I take you up on that offer and go to sleep? I feel tired."

"Not at all, Danno. It's your house. You go and sleep. I'll stay here on the couch."

"Are you crazy? You are going to cramp yourself on my couch."

"You were comfortable on mine."

 _Did Steve actually pout?_

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I fit the bill on every couch that was ever made on Earth. You, on the other hand, I think people have to design a special couch for you so you can stretch yourself without having neck and back pain in the morning."

"I'm staying on the couch. End of discussion."

Danny had that serious look again, like he was about to argue, but Steve beat him to it, pulling him into a hug.

"I'll be here when you wake up. Not going anywhere."

Danny just nodded, stifling a yawn.

"Okay. Gone to have my beauty sleep." Danny pulled out of the hug and headed for his room. He didn't bother to change his clothes, instead he just lied on the bed and was asleep in seconds.

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

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Steve brought his laptop with him out of the Silverado. It was past midnight and he decided against sleeping in favor to complete the paperwork. Steve knew Danny did most of his paperwork anyway, when he finished his. So, Steve decided to help Danny out by completing the paperwork. He said to himself that it was just to return the favor, because Steve was allergic to writing reports, only signing them. But the inner Steve said that it was because he wanted to spare Danny from writing about the day's events and relive them again, after the emotions-packed conversation they just had.

He was deep in thought and typing on the laptop when he heard the doorbell. He went to open. It was the one visitor that he wasn't expecting to see this late.

"Gracie."

"Uncle Steve!" The girl squealed and gave Steve a big hug.

Steve shot her a questioning look, surprised to see her.

"I was worried about Danno." was all that Grace said, before she entered in the house and sat on the couch. Steve thanked Rachel's driver and closed the door behind him.

"Where's Danno?"

"He is sleeping. He was tired and turned in early. I am staying here for the night. Was working on the report for today's case when you came. How come you are up so late?"

"Danno was sad. I was worried for him. And I decided to come here."

"Your mom just let you go to your father's place after midnight?"

"Well, I had to convince her. She had a fit when I suggested it, but once I told her Danno wasn't feeling well and I had to make him feel better, she said it's okay."

"What makes you think Danno is not feeling well?"

"I had my cheerleading practice today. He came and wanted a hug. Seemed sad to me."

Steve thought of when he told Danny to take a breather. The guy was really not feeling okay if he went to see Grace.

"We had a case... And Danno took it personal. He wasn't okay. I think he needed you to ground him and offer comfort, Gracie."

"I'm glad I helped him. Did you solve the case?"

"Yes, we did. Danno did the most of the work, but we helped him, too."

"What was the case about?"

"Um..." Steve looked into the big brown eyes of his "niece" and couldn't resist that puppy dog look she perfected with years of use on him.

Steve knew it was specifically aimed at him and it worked every time. However, he couldn't give much detail to the 10 year old, so he decided to give her a short version of the events, not entirely giving all the details of the case.

"There was a little girl, 6 year old that was kidnapped. Her case was connected to another one we got this morning, so it was top priority for us to work on it. Danny, he... um, he had a hard time coming to terms with the case, because it was a little girl and you know, your daddy is a sensitive man."

"Did you find that little girl?"

"Yes, we did. It was mostly Danny's doing, and he kinda led this action."

"Danno can do everything. I have no doubt."

Steve smiled at the innocent comment Gracie made about her father. It was certainly the truth. There was nothing Danny wouldn't do to achieve his goals, but there were many things neither he nor Steve could do. But, Grace seemed to think otherwise.

"I'm glad that girl went home with her parents."

"Yeah, me too, Gracie."

"Is daddy sad because of what happened last year? When that police officer took me?"

Damn, Grace was so bright. Steve could see Danny in her. No point in lying to her.

"Yes, Gracie. This case was similar to your kidnapping last year and Danno, he was really sad. But, he is better now, don't worry."

"Okay, I believe you Uncle Steve."

"Aren't you supposed to go to school tomorrow? You need to go to bed."

"About that..."

"Don't tell me you convinced your mom to let you stay at home tomorrow?"

Grace's pouty look turned into one of her toothy smiles and Steve found himself smiling, too, the two oblivious to the man observing their interaction.

...

* * *

Danny didn't really sleep. He was floating in a dreamless numb state. He was tired and he knew he should be sleeping, but his insomnia decided against it. So, he found himself propped against the headboard, rubbing his eyes and wincing when his knuckles acted up.

He eased himself up, carefully as to not disturb Steve if he was sleeping, instead coming to the voices that carried from his living room.

Steve wasn't talking to himself, so maybe he was having a nightmare. But there were two distinctive voices. One was hushed, smaller, and gentler. Sounded almost like...

 _Grace!_

Danny approached his living room, intent to find out if it was true and what was Grace doing here, when caught on the conversation between the two.

His little girl was worried for him. And she picked up on the reason behind all that stressing and frantic search for the girl. He worried her earlier when he went to see her during her practice.

He shouldn't have done that.

Danny felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill. He fought hard not to let his emotions overrule him today, but it was just too much.

When Grace said he could do anything, it was all he needed to finally let go the tears that burned a hot, wet track down his cheeks. He was falling apart, and he was glad he wasn't alone.

…

* * *

Steve picked on someone's whimpers and when he noticed Danny frozen in place, crying, it took all of his power not to cry himself. He didn't want to scare Grace, but she felt him go silent and she looked in the same direction.

She bolted to where Danny was and wrapped herself around his waist.

Steve carefully moved to where Danny and Grace were hugging now and joined the group hug.

After a while Danny extricated himself from the hug and went to clean himself in the bathroom, returning to the living room with his eyes already red and puffy.

"I'm glad you are here, Monkey. I love you." Danny hugged Grace tight to himself, closing his eyes, trying to convince himself that this was real and she was here with him, safe and sound.

"I love you too, Danno." Grace plastered a kiss on Danny's cheek. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course you can, Grace. I'd love to get one special cuddle from you."

"Can Uncle Steve come with us, too?"

Danny's head shoot up to see Steve caught like deer in the headlights.

"I don't know baby, let's ask Uncle Steve if he is okay with it."

"I really don't wanna bother you two."

"You won't bother us. It's a big bed. Besides, that way you'll avoid cramping on my couch." Danny smiled.

"Are you sure you are okay with it? I mean, it's an awkward situation and..."

"We are long past the awkward stage, Steven. I have no problem with you crashing in my bed and cuddling with my daughter. I trust you."

"Okay, I accept the generous offer Miss Williams." Steve said jokingly, searching for approval in Danny's eyes and finding it.

They moved to Danny's room and settled themselves.

Grace hugged Danny tight and buried her head in the space between his neck and chin, Danny wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the moment. Steve watched the exchange between father and daughter, still tentative at what should he do. He decided it was as good moment as any to try out a theory and slung one of his arms around Danny and Grace bringing them closer to him.

"I see what's happening here?" Danny said raising his head a little to look at Steve.

"Yeah? And what's that exactly?"

"You were just getting an excuse to hug me again and have me effectively pinned against you with my daughter between us."

"Well, maybe I want that special cuddle you mentioned."

"You never know just to ask properly, do you?"

"Told you, buddy, we are more alike than you think."

"Thank you for everything, babe. Love you."

"Love you too, Danno. Now, go to sleep. I'm here, Grace is here, and we have formed an amazing burrito here." Steve grinned as he tightened his hold on Danny and Grace.

 _The guy was an octopus_ , Danny thought as he slowly drifted to sleep, the sole knowledge of his best friend and daughter, the two people he loved most in his life, offering comfort and cuddles loving him for what he was, for who he was, messed up or not.

Breaking on the inside.

And he was grateful.

…

* * *

 **It was lots of fun to edit this story while listening to Bon Jovi songs. One of my favorite bands.**

 **Leave a review on your way out and let me know what you think.**


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